There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
