Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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