You really coming over, don't trick.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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