speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
