Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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