Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
