I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
