Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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