At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
