Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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