Her vagina should come with caution tape.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
