STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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