I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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