FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i think i have two assholes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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