But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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