What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
