we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
