He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
