Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we're making bets on your personal life
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
