my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
