so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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