I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
