IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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