When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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