just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
