I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
