it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
