i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
