she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
