I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
