Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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