why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
