No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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