If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
