But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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