you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
