this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
