I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
