well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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