covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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