Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
