i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
