why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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