i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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