Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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