I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
