Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
