i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
