whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
