The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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