I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
where am i from again
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
