worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
