If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
