I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
